iTried
by Ash Eyes
Summary: And maybe being together is different than you thought it would be, or should be. One-shot on where Freddie and Sam's relationship is going.


iTried -

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><p>She breaks up with you.<p>

Because you're too demanding. Too controlling of her. And when you tell her that's inane and stupid and she's being completely irrational she says you're doing it again.

"What?" You say.

"Being a dweeb." She replies.

Then she laughs and pretends like things are going to go back to normal, but you can see in her eyes she's torn up too. You watch her blonde curls fly away from you down the hall and you're left staring at the empty wall trying to figure out what exactly you did wrong. You wonder if it really was the parmesan comment.

And Carly truly does think everything will go back to normal now, so she doesn't understand when you tell her you can't be the tech producer for iCarly anymore. You tell her it would just be too awkward and you're sure she'll find someone else to do the show for her and Sam.

She gets down on her knees, literally, and she begs you, on her knees. She says she'll do anything to keep you around.

"Anything?" You ask.

"Anything." She says.

You notice the way her hand works its way into yours.

You want to ask her to make Sam take you back. You don't. Instead you sleep with her. Right there, in her apartment, with your insane mother a mere 500 ft away, probably waiting to give you a tick bath.

She takes you to her room and sits you on the bed. She starts to take off her shirt and she's just so Carly about it, unsure, her eyes darting every which way. You tell her to stop, that this isn't really want you want and you're sorry you ever brought the idea up.

She pushes you back with a tremendous amount of force for someone so petite and says this isn't really about the show. She tells you that she understands you're probably upset about Sam but she doesn't get why. She says you must have seen it coming, that the two of you could never work. You wonder why no one seems to have any faith in the foundation of your relationship but you. She tells you that Sam's too violent and you're too kind and you're staring at her and you still don't see the problem. Then she tells you something you've been waiting ages to hear.

"I like you Freddie, I didn't realize it till now, but I like you."

You think back to slow dancing in the groovy smoothie and kissing after you saved her life. You stopped waiting ages ago. You don't want to hear those words anymore.

You fuck her anyways. Because she's there, and you're bitter, and you want to stop being so kind if that's what keeps getting in the way.

Afterwards you hold her in the crook of your arm and watch the moon reflect on her porcelain skin. You run your fingers through her dark hair. It all feels so wrong.

"I can't do this." You tell her.

"Me neither." She says.

You go back to your apartment and listen to your mom rant about curfew for a few minutes, her voice numbs the thoughts you're trying not to think.

You don't see either of them at school the next day. At rehearsal everyone avoids one another. Nobody talks, and the tension presses against your camera lens. Gibby is clueless. He brings his puppy and it pees on everything. Carly screams. Rehearsal gets cut short.

You try to catch Sam before she's gone but you don't even see her leave. You start to go back to your own apartment but Carly catches your arm before you go.

"I'm sorry." She says.

"For sleeping with me?" You ask.

"For telling Sam." She replies.

You're sorry too.

You drive to her house in a panic. Breaking all the speed limits and your mother's driving rules.

She answers the door when you ring. You're sweaty and panting and you tell her she's lovely. She closes the door behind her and comes onto the porch with you.

"Go home." She says.

"I'm sorry." You reply.

"Me too." She states.

You think she might cry as she looks at you, but then she turns around and enters her house. She closes the door in your face.

Nobody brings any of it up again. Somehow the three of you manage to pull it together and continue iCarly through the rest of high school. It's fake and forced, but it's okay and your reviewers don't seem to notice. Your friendship isn't so lucky. You all act professional about it, but when you're not on set you ignore each other. You think Carly and Sam might still talk, but you're not sure.

Sam gets a new boyfriend. His name is Dylan. He's in a band. You want to rip him to pieces and crush him with a guitar. He doesn't listen to her. She doesn't tease him. They make out a lot and she goes to his gigs and he buys her T-shirts and ham. They aren't passionate, but you get that they work. You try not to think about it.

You get into MIT and Carly tells you she's going to Bowdoin in Maine. She says she wants to make up.

"I miss you." She says.

"I miss you too." You reply, and you mean it, but you'd mean it so much more for someone else.

You overhear Sam telling Gibby she's going to Colorado, Boulder. She's going to study anthropology she thinks. She hears it's easy.

Carly throws a party after graduation. You're invited because now you're friends again. You consider skipping, but you live across the hall so you go even though you don't want to.

Sam is there. She's sitting at the counter drinking soda from a swirly straw. You ask her where Dylan is. She shrugs, tells you they broke up. It was mutual. She hops off the stool and walks towards the hallway. She looks back at you and you follow her blindly.

When you close the door behind you she's on you, all over you. She kisses you and your lips burn where they touch hers. Her hands are everywhere, and your fingers are in her hair, and her eyelashes bat against your skin, and your flush against her, and yet you want to be closer.

You don't sleep with her.

You just make out and find yourself on the fire escape with her, sitting together where it all began.

"So much has happened, hasn't it?" She asks.

You nod.

You look at her and she's too pretty and you want to hold her and you can't help yourself.

"Why didn't we work?" You ask.

She shrugs. She tells you she's not sure. She liked you so much but she was just so familiar with hating on you to cover it up. She couldn't get used to being a couple, it took away from what she liked so much about your relationship. You tell her you never wanted her to change. That you'd always just wanted her to be her. Nothing had to be different just because you were dating.

She tells you it's not your fault. She says she didn't try to change when she was with you, she just did.

"You're too kind." She says.

You're so sick of everyone saying that.

She stands up and starts to leave, but you take a hold of her wrist. She looks at you.

"Sam, I love you." You say.

She takes her free hand and pries open your grip, sliding her arm out of your hand.

"I know." She says. "It's not enough."

You spend the summer in New York with your dad. You haven't spent time with him since the divorce and you tell your mom that you need to do this before you go to college. Really, you just don't want to be in Seattle.

MIT is nice. You find you like college. Carly shoots you an e-mail every now and then and occasionally you reply. You think less and less about Sam. You think you might've gotten over her.

You run into her again at Carly's wedding. You're both 26 now. She's still just as lovely. You make small talk with her. She ended up in cultural resource management. You're in your second year of law school. You ask her to dance. She tilts her head to the side and thinks about it. She tells you she'd love to and sets her drink down. You take her into your arms as the song turns slow.

Perfect fit.

You realize how much you miss her.

When you're done dancing she asks if your wedding will be next and who the lucky bride will be that has to listen to your nerd talk all day long.

"I miss you." You blurt out.

She chokes on her drink.

You take her back to your apartment and you sleep together. Nothing has ever felt so right before. And in the morning you play with her blonde curls as the sun rises. She snuggles closer into your chest.

"I missed you too." She whispers.

Your wedding is next.

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><p>AN:

Taking a break from editing In Any Other World obsessively to bring you this little slice of "What I think is going to happen because that is NOT the Sam and Freddie I know in this new season and they are not going to last if they keep acting like that". Also, just now I never said who "your" refers to in the last sentence other than that it applies to Freddie ;)

Please please please I am begging you if you are reading this and you're also reading In Any Other World, I have gotten so many e-mails about readers adding my story to their alerts but that's it, and it's crushing :( I am refusing on principal to update again until I have a total of 30 reviews, so please please please review! I just need one word, anything!

Love you all!


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